


If I Could Just Crash Here Tonight

by sksdwrld



Series: Sins of the Flesh [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Angst and Humor, M/M, Twincest, camp counselors, creepy twin is creepy, never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna make you cry, never gonna run around and hurt you, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 15:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1020569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sksdwrld/pseuds/sksdwrld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mordred is slowly falling apart after his and Merlin's tryst with Arthur.  But if he goes down, he's taking everyone with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Could Just Crash Here Tonight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [agirlnamedtruth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirlnamedtruth/gifts), [BekahRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BekahRose/gifts).



The rain, which Merlin was fairly certain was more than a deluge but less than a monsoon, had been coming down all morning and it had forced the entire camp into the large auditorium for the day. Each of the counselors were hosting a different activity in a loosely segregated area of the auditorium, hoping to cater to everyones interests and whims. Merlin was hosting an art station with plenty of paper, crayons, markers, paint, glue and glitter. Gwen was doing origami, Morgeuse was telling ghost stories and Morgana was teaching palm reading and telling fortunes. Gwaine had amassed a small crowd of would-be jugglers, Percy and Elyan were encouraging a group of children doing skits on the stage, and Arthur was leading some children in trust and team building exercises. Mordred was overseeing the quiet reading corner, and though he had a fair amount of bookworms to contend with, they more or less policed themselves. 

 

Merlin looked up from his painting, which was an abstract piece featuring a dominant and moody corner in blue, grey, purple and black tones and another edge in fiery hues. It was far from finished, especially considering the center was unworked and bare, but Merlin was already thinking of the piece as _The Tale of the Last Dragon-fighter_. Across the room, Arthur righted his volunteer, who'd done a trust-dive off of a desk and even though he was beckoning to another child to take the others place, his eyes were on Merlin.

 

Arthur smiled warmly and knowingly and Merlin grinned in response, stroking the handle of his paintbrush against his lips until Arthur flushed and looked away. It was not the first of such exchanges today and Merlin hoped that it would not be the last. He liked Arthur, and though he _loved_ Mordred, there was something about Arthur that he just couldn't leave alone.

 

A tingle suddenly ran up Merlin's spine and he didn't need to turn to know that Mordred had snuck up behind him. Instead, he rolled his shoulders back, his smile widening when Mordred's hands landed predictably, his thumbs digging into Merlin's shoulder blades in a massage that bordered on painful.

 

"Could you leave him be," Mordred asked, his lips tickling Merlin's right ear as he spoke, "if I asked you to?"

 

Merlin shrugged, brushing at Mordred as if he were a gnat and making a decisive stroke in red on the canvas. "Are you asking me to?"

 

"I haven't decided." Mordred's hands fell away from Merlin's shoulders and Merlin sighed as Mordred moved to his side, tilting his head as he assessed the piece. "You're utterly transparent, you know?"

 

Merlin switched brushes and swirling purple into the black, trailed a lazy tendril from the moody corner toward the fire. "And you aren't?"

 

"You scratch that itch of yours any more and it's going to bleed." Mordred seized Merlin's wrist, preventing him from laying down another line of black.

 

"Is that a threat, dear brother?" Merlin gave Mordred a cool look even though his heart was thumping wildly in his throat and his pulse quickening beneath Mordred's crushing grip.

 

"Just an observation." Mordred loosened his grip one finger at a time until Merlin was able to jerk his arm free. Wordlessly, Merlin daubed more black into the moody corner. Mordred sighed and his hand caressed the small of Merlin's back soothingly. "I've got something for your itch, Merlin. I know how to make it better."

 

Merlin laid down his brush and gave Mordred a withering look. "I can take care of it myself, thanks."

 

Mordred's eyes clouded with hurt in an instant and Merlin felt his guts churn. He wanted to take it back, say he didn't mean it, say he'd do anything for Mordred because he loved him, throw himself at Mordred's feet and beg for mercy because he was a terrible brother. He'd known since they were lads how Mordred felt about him, had known that Mordred's love was conditional on Merlin's ability to remain faithful to him, and in this instance, Merlin really ought to cut Mordred some slack because this game he was playing could very well tear them both apart. But, he couldn't make himself do it. Mordred was being deliberately hurtful and two could play at that game.

 

"You do that," Mordred whispered, backing away from Merlin until he bumped into one of the other easels. He startled, then took off across the auditorium.

 

Merlin's breath caught in his throat and for a moment, he was afraid Mordred was going to do something terrible. But Mordred only slid his palms across Arthur's back as he slipped past him and out the door. Arthur's head snapped in that direction, and when Mordred was gone, turned to Merlin with a questioning look. 

 

Merlin only could only shake his head before hiding behind his painting in order to drag a knuckle across each of his eyes.

 

At dinner, Merlin took his tray and sat in the empty seat beside Mordred. Mordred was pushing his food around his plate but wasn't looking at it; his eyes were on Arthur, who had only arrived minutes before with the children from his cabin and was ushering them into the cafeteria line. Merlin widened his legs, pushing his left thigh against Mordred's right and anticipating the usual hasty slide of Mordred's palm that never came. Instead, Mordred used his knee to nudge Merlin's leg away from him.

 

"Your problem," Mordred said flatly and without looking at him, "Is that your legs do not stay closed for very long. Maybe you should work on that."

 

Merlin felt ire ripple through him. Mordred would hold this grudge until Merlin made things right between them. He got up and moved around the table, taking the empty seat across from Mordred instead. He reached over to pull his tray in front of him and deliberately bumped Mordred's, but Mordred didn't notice.

 

"You realize you are doing that creepy, stalking-thing where your eyes don't blink..." Merlin offered in jest and shoveled a forkful of tinned peaches into his mouth.

 

"You realize you are doing that annoying, whore-thing where your mouth keeps flopping open?" Mordred replied with a disdainful glance.

 

In shock, Merlin dropped his fork back onto his tray and goggled at his brother. "Why are you being so hurtful?"

 

"Why are you still here?" Mordred countered. "I thought you had something to take care of. By yourself."

 

Merlin stood abruptly, looking down at Mordred (who still had eyes only for Arthur) for a moment, and then leaned forward. "Maybe, I already did." Then he picked up his tray and moved to another table altogether. He would have loved to walk completely out on Mordred the way Mordred had done to him earlier, but the kids could get rowdy at dinner and a full staff was required at all times. Still, he couldn't eat his dinner, and he couldn't look at Mordred. Engaging the children became a necessary chore.

 

By the time the children were all in bed, the counselors were sitting around a cozy fire in the middle of the bunkhouses. Someone had dragged a couple of logs over to keep everyone off the muddy earthen floor and for the most part, the counselors were huddled together on two big logs.

 

Mordred, always the loner, crouched on a milk crate on the far side of the fire. Experimentally, Merlin walked behind him, trailing his hand across Mordred's right shoulder then running his hand through Mordred's hair from his nape to his crown. Mordred flicked a hand at him in annoyance and that answered that question. Merlin moved to the big log and Gwen shoved closer to Morgana to make room for him on the end. Conversation here seemingly focused on Prince Harry's latest bender and which of the girls would or wouldn't be willing to sacrifice themselves in the name of England for his cause.

 

On the other log, Arthur was perched between Lance and Gwaine and appeared to be semi-seriously plotting an open-air mud wrestling ring if the rain continued. Gwaine had gone all sloe-eyed and was trying to catch Arthur's attention as he spoke animatedly to Lance about the construction of an arena and the necessary building supplies. After kicking Arthur's foot a few times, and being ignored, Gwaine began to stroke his foot against Arthur's instead. Arthur finally looked in Gwaine’s direction, passing an assessing glance over him and smiling. Then, Gwaine beckoned and Arthur leaned away from Lance, angling his head down so that Gwaine could speak in his ear. As he did so, Gwaine curled his fingers into Arthur's shoulder, murmuring something that had Arthur throwing his head back and laughing before playfully backhanding Gwaine across the chest. Gwaine's hand found the small of Arthur's back and lingered there for a long moment before sliding around to Arthur’s hip and coming to rest on his thigh. 

 

Merlin licked his lips and then bit them, wondering if Arthur was truly as receptive to Gwaine’s advances as he was making himself seem. Merlin wondered what that meant for them, if Mordred would be happy that Arthur had moved on. Suddenly, something moved in the periphery of Merlin's vision, catching his attention. Merlin’s head swiveled and he saw Mordred standing, his fists clenching and unclenching loosely, his jaw set. Merlin had seen that look on Mordred's face before and now, just like the last time, he could only watch with a mixture of horror and amazement as Mordred stalked toward him.

 

But Mordred passed Merlin without a second glance, moving to stand in front of Arthur, who looked up at Mordred with a hesitant smile. All around them, the conversation had died and everyone watched as Mordred's hands flashed out, twisting in Arthur's shirt, hauling him from his perch on the log. Arthur flailed briefly then grabbed Mordred’s biceps for stability. Before Gwaine or Lance could scramble up and to Arthur's rescue, Mordred's mouth descended, crashing into Arthur's and working furiously. Merlin caught a glimpse of their two tongues sliding together and it tugged something inside of him, warmth pooling in his groin even as jealousy tugged at his heart.

 

No one breathed, it seemed, until Mordred lifted his head, breaking the kiss. He released Arthur just as abruptly as he'd seized him and Arthur fell heavily backward, his bottom catching the back end of the log and sliding. Arthur ended up flat in the mud, his legs almost comically in the air. Mordred planted one foot between Arthur's legs and stepped over the log, and then crouching over him.

 

"Until I decide what to do with you, there is nobody else. Understand?"

 

"...Fair enough..." came Arthur's startled voice.

 

Mordred straightened and twisted, his eyes finding Merlin's across the way. Their gazes locked but Merlin could read nothing from Mordred, his swirling turmoil was too great. After a moment, Mordred stepped away from Arthur. He crammed his hands into his pockets and bowing his head, moved quickly toward his cabin.

 

No one moved until he was gone and the silence hung heavily around them until Gwen said, "For God's sake, Merlin, breathe!"

 

He hadn't realized that he'd been holding his breath until that moment and he suddenly felt as though he were dying. He inhaled audibly, tipping dizzily as oxygen rushed to his brain. Gwen put her hand on his back, steadying him so that he didn't suffer the same fate as Arthur, who was probably covered in foul-smelling mud and leaves.

 

And yet, in this moment, Merlin would have traded places with Arthur in an instant. Not only was Arthur still relatively in Mordred's favor,but he had already been rewarded with the one thing Merlin could never have: public recognition of Mordred's affection and desire. Merlin clutched his chest where a physical ache was blooming and spreading, making his throat tighten and his stomach clench. 

 

Gwen laid her hand on his arm in concern. "Merlin? Are you alright?"

 

He shook his head and climbed shakily to his feet. "Sure. It’s just...indigestion. I...I think I'm going to spend the night in the infirmary. Any opposed?"

 

None were.

 

Early in the morning, Merlin dragged himself off the cot and made his way back to his cabin in order to procure clean clothes. After he quietly let himself in, and latched the door, he heard Mordred ’s heavy sigh and felt a pang of guilt. He knew Mordred didn't sleep well when they weren't tangled together in the same bed which meant that he probably hadn't slept at all with Merlin gone. Merlin ducked his head down, peering into Mordred's bunk and met his brother's red-rimmed, tired eyes.

 

"Drey?" Merlin whispered the nickname he had given Mordred when they were little more than babes, and then bit his lip, unsure how to proceed.

 

Mordred blinked and held his arms out to Merlin, who knelt on the mattress and eased into them even though he wanted to fling himself at his twin and never let him go. Mordred's arms crushed Merlin and Merlin knew that his sins had been forgiven. 

 

"Don't leave me, don't leave me!" Mordred whispered desperately into Merlin's ear and snuck one hand beneath Merlin's shirt to stroke his skin. 

 

Merlin released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and shook his head. "Never ever ever ever ever ever..."

 

Mordred's fingers curled into Merlin's hair, holding him fast as Mordred's mouth worked it's way over Merlin's neck and along the shell of his ear. "I need you..."

 

Merlin suppressed a whimper, barely keeping his hips from bucking in agreement and accommodation. "We can't — the kids!"

 

"They're sleeping..." Mordred's fingers shifted down Merlin's back and delved into the crease of Merlin's arse.

 

Reluctantly, Merlin pulled away, whispering, "We could lose our jobs. Maybe get arrested if any of the parents find out. Stop it."

 

Mordred sighed and pulled Merlin close for a brief kiss, which Merlin allowed. Then, Mordred spoke against his lips, "Figure something out, then. I can't wait ten days for another night off."

Merlin nodded and shifted off of Mordred's lap to his side where they wouldn't look so suspicious. He twined their hands together, sighing as he nodded. "I will, Mordred, I will."

**Author's Note:**

> Did you notice you've been Rick-rolled?


End file.
